Category: Texas

Rental Car Blues

The first time I ever rented a car it was the strangest feeling. I spent extra time making sure all my mirrors were correct and that my seat was just right. I was also terrified of having an accident in it; my company included the damage waiver on rentals, but it was my first job out of college and I didn’t want to have to call my boss to tell her I’d hit a wild hog in South Texas that turned my car into an accordion.

Now, renting a car is just business as usual, except for what I call the “Rental Car Lottery.” I typically reserve a standard sized car, but that is apparently the size car that most people rent. Chances are, when you arrive at Enterprise you will receive an automatic upgrade to a different class of car, or something completely different than you expected. This can work for or against you. For example, I had the pleasure of getting a Hyundai Accent at O’Hare airport, and had to road trip that thing up and down Michigan before dumping it in Cleveland. I’ve never been happier to get rid of a car, except maybe three weeks earlier in Ft. Lauderdale.

Because of Hurricane Irma, Enterprise had rented every available car except for white utility vans or minivans. The agent threw in a free tank of gas for my troubles after noticing the look of horror on my face. The poor elderly couple in front of me had just selected their minivan, and considering they almost ran over an employee while trying to exit, I’m betting they wished they didn’t have to drive one either.

I had room for 8 imaginary friends in my Dodge Caravan, and cruised into both Miami and West Palm Beach looking like the baddest bitch in town. The most humiliating part was the valet-only option at my West Palm Beach hotel. At least it had leather seats?

Of course you don’t always end up with a terrible car. Two years ago in Ft. Lauderdale I lucked into a convertible Camaro, which was the perfect car to drive up the Florida coast. The free BMW upgrade I got one other time made for a fantastic trip across Texas. However the Kia Soul I got in San Diego? My only request was that it did not come with hamsters. I’m sure the agent never heard that one before.

 

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Pit Stop 

One of the benefits of spending my week driving all over Texas has been the short break I took stopping off in Waco. I’m sure the majority of you associate Waco, Texas with 90s cult leader David Koresh, but I associate it with college. For those interested though, you can still visit David Koresh’s compound. A friendly man with a shotgun named Andrew X98 will happily give you some informative pamphlets regarding their religion. 

I’m pretty sure every freshman visits that compound at some point, unless they chicken out. 

Anyway, I had some time to drive around campus and my old apartment to see how much has changed. It kind of felt like visiting an upgraded movie set of a show you used to star in: new buildings everywhere, new restaurants (how did Waco get an In-and-Out burger before Houston?), and even a mini mart walking distance from where I used to live. Considering it sells beer, wine, and liquor too, I’m sure I would have been a regular. 

Short on time, I grabbed lunch at an old favorite. Viteks used to only be open for lunch, but has since expanded their business and building. If you ever find yourself in Waco, be sure to get a gut pak (or even a half of one is plenty). It might not look like much, but it’s an amazing styrofoam box of BBQ and for me, nostalgia. 

It’s Not Over Yet

The last major hurricanes to threaten the Texas coast did so while I lived in Waco. In the panic of hurricane Rita, which developed shortly after the destruction of Katrina, the entire city of Houston and surrounding areas attempted to evacuate at once. As you might have imagined, that did not go well. It took my family over twenty four hours to get to my apartment, normally a three hour drive.2005_rita_houstonevacuation.jpg

Three years later when Ike was threatening to make a direct hit on Houston, they made the same drive in similar traffic. With both Ike and Rita, my family was lucky that the hurricanes veered east enough to spare them any major damage, but especially with Ike, a lot of damage was sustained throughout the city. I distinctly remember seeing the blue tarp “FEMA roofs” adorning so many houses when I made my first trip back, weeks after Ike had hit.

I am so glad that no mandatory evacuation was ordered for us this time. That parking lot of cars you see above from the Rita evacuation? They would all be completely underwater. So many people would have died.

I described Harvey as a “zombie hurricane” on Friday, and that description has been pretty accurate, as he is still a tropical storm and is lingering along the coast. After devastating the city of Rockport, north of Corpus Christi, he is now devastating Houston with rain. The rain won’t stop, and it’s not going to for days. We have been extremely fortunate that we have only lost water pressure for a few hours, but never lost electricity, and only have a water leak in the drywall by our window. So many others have not been as lucky. One of my coworkers has lost absolutely everything.

If you are able to spare more than your thoughts and prayers for everyone here who has been through what is being described as the biggest U.S. flood storm of all-time, you can text HARVEY to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross, or donate to the Houston Flood Relief Fund, organized by the Houston Texans’ J.J. Watt. Anything will help. It’s still raining, and the flood waters are not finished with the city yet.

One Night in Paris

When I started traveling for work with my first job out of college, I was always sent to the places no one else wanted to go.  Of course, I did not have a problem with that; I was happy to be going anywhere at all.  However, this means I’ve been to some interesting small towns across the state of Texas.  One trip took me through East Texas in November, and the drive actually made me feel like I was in a northern state.  I enjoyed the winding two-lane roads and some fall colors all the way up to Tyler, where my flip phone unceremoniously died.  After scrambling to find an AT&T store, I purchased my very first iPhone and made my way up to Sulphur Springs.  I arrived after dark, worked my event, and as a Hilton brand loyalist, I continued north to the closest one I could find: the Hampton Inn in Paris, Texas.

Since I reached the hotel so late and had a new phone to learn how to use, I didn’t explore any of the area that evening.  However, I had researched ahead of time and discovered that as would be expected, an Eiffel Tower replica existed in the city.  But this was not just your average replica.  No, it was fashioned as an oil derrick, complete with a Texas touch.

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The first photo I ever took on an iPhone

I’ve since read that Paris, Texas was in a competition with Paris, Tennessee to have the tallest Eiffel Tower replica in their respective cities.  Thus, the red cowboy hat was added to make it taller than the one in Tennessee. Both were eventually dwarfed by the replica on the Las Vegas Strip, which happens to be half the size of the original Eiffel Tower.

I was only able to spend one night in Paris before moving on to my next spot, so I set my alarm early in order to have time to see this replica in all its glory.  For those of you with iPhones, please know that I set my morning alarm on my phone for the first time with the “alarm” tone, and I about fell out of my bed when it first went off.  My half asleep brain thought it was the fire alarm.  It did its job; I was wide awake after that.

When I checked out of the Hampton, I decided to take a little piece of Paris home with me.  They sold bobble versions of their Eiffel Tower, and the bobbling red cowboy hat road shotgun with me for the rest of my trip.  The best part is that now I can tell people that my work has sent me to Paris.  I’ll let them assume which one.

 

A Texas Institution

For those of you unfamiliar with Texas, you may have heard that everything is bigger here.  That includes our gas stations.  Behold!Bucees

These billboards pop up every few miles when you’re driving on any major highway in Texas, up to 200 miles away from the Buc-ee’s location at which you will have to stop, because they have impeccably clean restrooms and creative advertising.

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Effective?

In addition to clean restrooms and gas (those two go together, no?), you can really find everything you never knew you needed in a Buc-ee’s.  Beef jerky, brisket, sandwiches, fudge, beaver nuggets (similar to a seemingly endless bag of larger corn pops), and an eclectic array of home products.  At the Buc-ee’s in Wharton, Texas, I found a beautiful framed piece of burlap embossed with flowers and a watering can.  It was hanging above the toilet, and could have been mine for $10.95.  I only regret not purchasing it because when people asked where I found it, I could have seen the look on their faces when I told them it was a gas station bathroom.

I went with the most reasonable thing I could find in this pile of beavers: the key chain.

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Texas, y’all